An Interview with Jean Sunde Peterson: About Social and Emotional Needs of the Gifted

Twice Exceptional/Twice Successful: Back to School Strategies that Work

Interview by Michael F. Shaughnessy

Question: Jean, what do you see as the main social and emotional needs of the gifted?

Answer: Social concerns may include being a bully (with implications for future relationships) and/or being bullied, isolation, feeling unconnected to peers because of life circumstances, and having difficulty connecting to home or neighborhood because of interests and education. Perfectionism and other control issues (e.g., dominance, angry outbursts, anxiety), shyness, poor impulse control, and lack of tact are among several other concerns that may come to the attention of parents, teachers, and counselors. Social needs vary, according to how satisfied students are with interpersonal connections, how connected they want to be, and what might be interfering with connecting. Anyone with a poor fit with family, peers, teachers, coaches, directors, and neighborhood probably does not feel at ease socially.

Emotional concerns can be related to anything just mentioned. Sensitivity, intensity, and overexcitabilities are potential extra layers during life transitions, whether related to normal development, change and loss, or moving across school levels. That layer might exacerbate expected developmental struggles. Academic underachievement may be mostly a developmental phenomenon, with the possibility of “spontaneous remission” when developmental tasks are accomplished.

Needs that come to mind are these:

1. To be seen and appreciated as a complex person, not just as a performer or non-performer.
2. To have developmental tasks named and explained and struggles normalized, as related to giftedness.
3. To have associated characteristics recognized for what they are, and not pathologized when pathology isn’t indicated.
4. To be viewed with compassion—even for having to bear the burdens of high ability.
5. To have someone who can affirm them where and how they are.
6. To know that angst, doubt, fear, anxiety, sense of inferiority, guilt, and even despair in the moment will not always feel the same, and that everything is always in the process of change.
7. To have a venue for learning to express concerns about present, past, and future.

Question: In some schools, gifted kids receive an IEP. What goals might a school consider to assist in their social and emotional development?

Answer: Gifted kids need to learn about social and emotional development, to talk with a compassionate and nonjudgmental adult about growing up, to feel safe and secure at school, to have personal strengths unrelated to academics affirmed, to figure out their identity, to receive assistance in career and relational development, to develop autonomy, and to learn to be self-reliant, resilient, and comfortable in the world.

Question: Do gifted boys and girls differ in their needs, and, if so, how?

Answer: Yes, though it’s important not to rely on neat categories. Studies show patterns: in one high school, 75% of extreme underachievers were boys and 75% of high achievers were girls. Classrooms may fit many gifted girls better, especially compliant, task-focused students. Longitudinal and subgroup studies show gender-related differences in developmental trajectories and experiences of risk. Personality factors and interpersonal strengths likely have the greatest impact on well-being; those who don’t fit gender stereotypes and lack peer support are vulnerable to bullying. Both genders need compassion and support.

Question: Do gifted children differ in their social and emotional needs as opposed to gifted adolescents?

Answer: Developmental tasks differ: gifted children may face childhood effects when abilities are evident early, including high expectations and stress that suppress disclosure of concerns. Adolescents face identity, direction, relationships, autonomy, and differentiation within the family; gifted teens may feel loss when committing to a single path. They need to see professionals at work, sort out interests with nonjudgmental adults, receive active guidance at school, and have psychoeducational information and regular places to talk.

Question: Now, what about the highly gifted—those with I.Q.’s above 160—how are their needs different?

Answer: Greater differentness can mean fewer available intellectual peers and harder social connections, though some highly able individuals have strong interpersonal skills. Emotionally, sensitivities and intensities may match cognitive ability.

Question: What role do guidance counselors play in assisting with the social and emotional needs of gifted?

Answer: Potentially an important role, but often small unless behaviors draw attention. Counselor education has begun to include ability-level considerations, but more training modules are needed. Counselors can do prevention- and intervention-oriented small-group work; gifted students have unique risk factors and benefit from group work and differentiated approaches. Programs are beginning to prepare graduates to address giftedness-related needs, but national information and training are still needed.

Question: What role do parents and grandparents play in helping with social /emotional needs?

Answer: Caring and available parents and surrogates who embrace the complexity of high ability and view the child as more than a performer are fortunate. Grandparents can play the same supportive role. Negative influencers can harm development; both positive and negative situations can contribute to resilience.

Question: What specifically have you written so that parents, teachers and counselors can learn more about helping with the social emotional needs?

Answer:

• (Peterson, 2009) Gifted at Risk: Poetic portraits. Great Potential Press.
• (Peterson, 2008) The Essential Guide to Talking with Gifted Teens. Free Spirit Publishing.
• (Peterson & Mendaglio, 2007) Models of Counseling Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Young Adults. Prufrock Press.
• (Peterson & Ray, 2006) Bullying and the Gifted: Victims, Perpetrators, Prevalence, and Effects. Gifted Child Quarterly, 50, 148-168.
• (Peterson & Ray, 2006) Bullying among the Gifted: The Subjective Experience. Gifted Child Quarterly, 50, 252-269.
• (Peterson, 2005) Parents as Models: Respecting and Embracing Differences. Parenting for High Potential.
• (Peterson, 2002) A Counselor’s Perspective on Parenting Gifted Children. Parenting for High Potential.

Question: What have I neglected to ask?

Answer: One closing comment: it’s easy for the public and educators to undervalue differentiated attention to social and emotional development for gifted kids. There is much work to do, but attendance and interest at conferences indicate growing attention to this area.